The golden rule has always been: love others as you love yourself.
But how do you begin to love yourself?
It's a walk down your street in the cold evening, enjoying the feel of the crisp air on your brown skin. It’s relishing the silence of the night, the gentle hum of your mind as it slips into sleep.
It's lighting scented candles and enjoying a warm bath after a busy day. It's having a healthy meal, even if it means spending a lot on it. It's putting off your phone while you listen to your mind unravel mysteries to you. It’s by paying attention to your body as much as you do to your mind. It’s in speaking kindly to yourself. It's in telling yourself how awesome and grateful you are for your strides and your mistakes.
It's holding your life like a glass of wine between soft fingers. It's writing a love letter to yourself. It's in speaking gently and kindly to yourself. It's in demanding that you be respected; it’s in enforcing your boundaries. It's in having a solo date and dressing up like you are about to meet the most important person. Because you are.
It's in daring and trying out new things. It's in surprising yourself with awesome and unimaginable results. It's in trying again. It's in cheering yourself even when it is so difficult. It's in accepting failures. It's in crying yourself to sleep. It's in listening to good music. It's in buying a book. It's in reading a book. It's in writing your goals and making videos of yourself dancing embarrassingly.
It's in the gentle ways you unfold, like the petals of a chrysanthemum, lying in wait, holding tightly and finally learning to let go. Learning to manifest, to thrive beyond merely existing, to take up space, to begin to matter. It's in the quiet ways you begin to let go, the subtle ways you begin to morph, to chisel out yourself into form.
It's in the way you detoxify your mind—learning, unlearning, and relearning, teaching your old brain new tricks. It's in the way you empower your spirit. It's in the way you bless your soul.
How do you begin to love your life?
You start by holding its face firmly and telling it how much you love it. It's in the way you demonstrate this absolute love that you begin to live for it. You begin to live beyond your flesh. You begin to live beyond your excuses, bad habits, and persistent inclination to procrastinate.
You hold your life tenderly and fill it up with positive thoughts, affirmations, and reassurances. How do you love your life?
It's in the way you fill it up with laughter. It's in the way you begin to have more sleep and sunlight. The way you begin to drink more water. It's in the way you begin to smile more and walk better. It’s in the way you begin to work on your goals. It’s in the way you begin to step out of your shell. It’s in the way you begin to talk to strangers and assert your presence.
It's in the way you begin to occupy the spaces meant for you. It’s in the way you begin to build and create. It's in the way you choose to share yourself and your life with others. It's in the way you begin to unfold in public. You begin to shine. You begin to sing loudly and beautifully.
It's in the way you begin to chase your dreams. It's in the way you begin to demand more from your life. It's in the way you begin to tell your life that it could be more. Like a lover, you cuddle it through those nights of anxiety. You hold it strong on days when it's sad and afraid. You speak gently to it when it begins to doubt and tell it how far you both have come and how much farther you can go.
It’s how you express your gratitude that you still have it with you. It’s in how you begin to appreciate each breath and gentle thump of the heart. It’s in how you begin to feel the raindrops on your face and learn to savour your meals like it’s your last. It’s in the way you begin to allow a hug to linger. It’s in the way you begin to look people in the eyes and take in their faces. It’s in the way you begin to walk with a spring in your step. It’s in the way you wake daily to tell your life how much you love it. You whisper prayers of gratitude and say, “I Love you, my life.” You hold your life and kiss its face and call it blessed.
It's in the way you learn to gift it appropriately. Thoughtful special gifts to mark special moments. It's in the way you hold your life and ask it to unravel itself. You sit with it and say, “So, tell me about yourself.” It’s in the way you begin to listen each day as it speaks. You begin to learn that it is sometimes jealous and envious and dubious and nasty and lazy and arrogant.
Yet, every day you choose to romanticize your life. You begin to remind it of how better it can get; you begin to try to make it better. You use reason and logic and love. It begins to change too. One day, it feels anger but decides not to act on it. You watch it grow gently. With fingers around a wine glass and a cake on your desk, you listen to it all night as it unfolds and unravels. No interruptions.
Every morning, you begin to hear its dreams, and you begin to write them down. At night, you begin to hear its fears, and you begin to write them down, too. Each morning you read the fears and reply with a dream.
So now, you hold your life; you hold its face and whisper, “I love you.”
And because you love your life, it begins to love you back.
And because I love my life, it begins to love me back! Thanks for sharing this with us, Ley!